January 25, 2011 - The Day Our Lives Changed Forever
Adelyn came into our lives on January 25, 2011, weighing at 7 pounds, 9 ounces. She was 21.5 inches long and was a clone of Joey! I was in labor for a total of 30 hours, and I pushed for almost four of them! I guess she just wanted to make a grand entrance - and that she did! She actually was on her side when she came out and the cord was almost around her neck. I obviously didn't know that at the time, but they told me after she was breathing and everything was okay. Joey was the first one to hold her. When he held her for the first time, I saw something in him that I never saw before. It was like he almost instantly was a father, he held her like he'd held babies all his life. She just fit so perfectly in his big hands - it was one of the most comforting moments of my life. When he gave her to me, I was actually shaking so much from the two rounds of epidural that I was afraid I would drop her. I was so weak/hungry/shaky/tired from the long, intense labor that I just needed a few moments to rest. It was such a struggle because I wanted to hold my baby girl more than anything, but I knew I wasn't at the point yet where I could protect her. I felt helpless. It wasn't until we left the delivery room and were in our room where I was able to have something to drink and eat and I was able to hold my princess for the first time. I always knew what love was - I fell in love with Joey so intensely and quickly, I never thought I could feel something so quickly for someone. My adoration for her was an instant, almost aching, somewhat obsessive feeling that I've never experienced before. She opened her eyes and looked at me and my life would never be the same. I couldn't believe (and I STILL can't believe) that something so beautiful came from ME, and looked NOTHING like me :) She was ALL Joey - his lips, his head shape, his ears, his HANDS...EVERYTHING WAS ALL JOEY! Well, maybe her nose and cheeks were like mine, but like my mother in law says - she has the chubby cheeks like me :) No matter who she looked like, she was perfect. She was my little angel who didn't cry for 8 whole hours after she was born! She was just too good to be true for the first few days of her life - we truly thought we were in trouble. Everyone warned us that we were probably in for it, but her charming personality, presence, and demeanor has stuck with her through her first 8 months. As for the breastfeeding, it actually came easy to me, which I was surprised at. I was also producing enough milk for octomom's kids. My pediatrician was kind enough to advise me not to spread that fact with other moms at daycare or on play dates (a tip I never truly understood until Addy was 6 months old). It was insane! I actually didn't know what to do for the first few days, because, as gross as it sounds, it was everywhere! She ate and ate and ate, but by the third night home, Ads was sleeping for 5 hours at a time. We were truly so fortunate. She was well-fed, bathed and slept like a 3 month old. We were, and still are, truly blessed to have such a well-behaved baby.I never ever thought I would say this, but even though the labor was absolutely awful, from the throwing up to the contractions. to the mysterious pain that shot from my calf to my upper spine, to the other details that I will just politely leave out - it was all worth it. I would do it 1,000 times for her. She has made me 100 times the person I was before I had her. My mom told me, who was in the delivery room when Adelyn was born, that as much as I didn't believe it at the time, it would all be worth it in the end. Definitely something I did not want to hear after two hours of pushing and no baby! But she was right. It was worth every single solitary second. She is an absolute joy and I would do it again and again if it meant she would be with us.
Here is a picture of our little angel on her birthday, with mommy and daddy
The First Few Months
The first few weeks were challenging, as it always is for new parents. The lack of sleep, the constant and probably over excessive diaper changes, the feedings, etc. They all add up to one thing that I never knew I had - patience. In the first few weeks that we spent with Adelyn, Joey and I learned how to have so much patience with both each other and the baby. I was strictly breastfeeding, so I was always on call, which I loved so much (and I truly miss sometimes now). Once I started pumping and she took a bottle at around two weeks, Joey was able to start helping out with the feedings, which was helpful for both mommy and daddy. For all new moms, I HIGHLY recommend pumping if you can, especially if you plan on working at some point while you are breastfeeding. It gives dads the opportunity to truly bond with the baby, and also help out mommy with some much needed sleep. Not that I minded waking up with Addy, but when Joey offered to take her for one of her late-night feedings, I was able to get some sleep and I was probably a more pleasant wife :) And Joey was phenomenal. I am so fortunate to have a husband who loves to feed, change, bathe, and just take care of his baby. I know so many situations where the dads just expect the moms to do everything, which I find just terrible. My dad was such an hands on dad and so was my father-in-law with his three kids, and when Joey and I talked about having kids, we knew that he would be the same. And it's not like I never doubted him - he is the most incredible father. Since the day Adelyn was born, you would think that Joey raised 10 kids before her. He is just so comfortable with her, he doesn't stress when there is an out-of-control dirty diaper situation, and he will take the early morning shift on the weekends whenever he can. Both Addy and I are so lucky to have such an amazing father and husband - words can't express how much his love and support means to me.
When Joey had to leave for work when Adelyn was four weeks old, I felt like my heart was breaking. I can't imagine how he felt - we were just getting used to her schedule and now I was on my own. And to make it worse, we weren't really sure how long he would be gone for. If it was that hard on me, I really can't begin to think of how difficult leaving was on him. I can just see how much he adores her, and having to leave her for any length of time was hard. Let alone months at a time. I think I may have cried for three straight hours when he left for the first time after Adelyn was born. And I usually cry when he leaves normally. I don't know if I was wholly crying because I was going to miss him, because I always do. But I think I was mostly crying because I knew he would never know her when she was two months old, when she was three or four months old. That killed me. And I think the other part of me was scared. I was scared to be with this little being all on my own, where I didn't have my partner, my support system with me when I needed him. I knew we were so lucky because Adelyn was such a good baby, but even with her being so good, I was ON MY OWN. And it scared the crap out of me. I never realized how important my family and friends were to me until this time.
It is true - your friendships and relationships change when you have a baby. I've read it in all my baby and mommy books. I knew that nothing would be the same once a baby comes along. I know all of the "Johnson & Johnson" commercials that say "A baby changes everything." I knew it and I expected it. But, I didn't realize how much your relationships with other people change. Friends that don't have babies don't know what to expect, they are even a bit overwhelmed by the new baby that's thrown in the mix. My friendships have absolutely changed - some for the worse and some for the better. I have realized how much my friends love and support got me through the toughest few months of my life. I wasn't able to just "grab a drink" after work anymore, I couldn't go out and party until 4 in the morning, and my Sundays weren't spent nursing a wicked hangover, or doing whatever Joey and I wanted to do. My days were now spent with my daughter - she was my number one priority. Silly things that I used to worry about no longer mattered. She was my world now. And while it's changed my relationships with some people, I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. You win some and you lose some.
When Joey came home and Addy was 4 months old, I felt like he missed so much! Adelyn had rolled over, began mumbling a (bit) more clearly, and she was almost able to sit up! She was just a different baby. And I know that it was difficult for him to adjust to this little being that was such a person now. It took him a few days, but he was back in the swing of things in no time. She definitely was a different baby, but he go the hang of it so quickly. And it was such a relief to have him back! I felt like I just wanted to do everything as a family that we weren't able to do while he was gone. You don't realize how difficult it is to travel with a baby until you are doing it on your own! When he got home in June, we went to the Bronx Zoo, to Nyack a few times to go for walks, the beach a few times, and Van Saun Park. I wanted to get it all in before he left again. It was great to have us all together again.
By the time Addy was four and a half months old, she wouldn't nurse anymore. She just could not be bothered. I tried and tried and kept at for weeks, but she just wasn't interested. I was still pumping at the time, so she was still only getting breastmilk.I read all the books, the tips...everything! She just was too involved with what was gong on around her to nurse. I cried and cried that she wouldn't nurse anymore. It was so hard not to want to. I just felt this close bond with her from nursing and I was planning on doing it for a year. I also was going back to work at a new job, so I knew I had to pump even more now. Slowly, I started stopping production. I realized that she was hungrier and hungrier as the weeks went on and I knew I wasn't producing enough for her. She was growing and I wasn't keeping up! So, I worked in the formula. I hated dong it, but it made her happy. If it wasn't for my mom, I might have had a breakdown when I had to give her formula for the first time. It absolutely killed me that I wasn't her sole provider anymore. But, as expected, she took it like a champ. She loved it and it kept her belly full. I called her pediatrician to ask his advice because I felt like such a failure because she was only six months old, but he was fantastic. He told me that most mothers don't even make it for more than a month and I should be proud that I lasted this long. It was some comfort for me, and I didn't feel as bad after talking with him. I kept trying though. I pumped and pumped and pumped and I got nothing. It was like my body just stopped producing because she didn't want to nurse anymore. I even started my new job and kept pumping, but I would spend a half hour in the "Wellness Room" and get an ounce, if the most. I didn't have the time during the work day to keep it up as much, and this is the first time I truly felt torn between being a mommy and a career woman. And going back to work wasn't the reason I stopped producing and I knew that, but it still drew so much guilt from me.
My mom was the best throughout this time. She told me to be proud of myself that I was so dedicated to it for so long. I tried and I knew I did, but for the first time, I felt like I failed my daughter. I now realize that it may have been a bit silly to feel that way, because she is still the happy, healthy, gorgeous baby girl today that she was when she was breastfeeding. I tried my best and that's what counts.
Adelyn - the 8 month old who's going on 14 -
10.2.11
Adelyn has become such a beautiful little lady since she was four months old. She started crawling at 7 months and two days and hasn't stopped since! She's a lady who knows what she wants, and now she gets there as quickly as she can. I blame the day care for her crawling so quickly. She goes two days a week, and loves every second of it. The other babies cry so much when their mommies and daddies drop them off, but my little lady is miss independent and goes right to the toy chest to start playing. Usually, she just sits down and raises her arms up to say "Hi." I probably shouldn't write this, but her teacher told me she was her favorite and she wished she came more than two days a week. Maybe she says that to all the parents, but I doubt it :)
She is such a good baby still - she naps, talks, crawls, plays, and does everything on her own. She will play with her toys for hours at a time, and never even cry. She is now in the "screaming" phase, where she just screams as her way of communication. It's not a cry, just a loud, piercing, laughing scream. It's absolutely hysterical and I think Joey and I encourage it a bit when we laugh at her. She's learning what "NO" means, and it so defiant when we constantly tell her NO when she rips the fireplace guard off the mantle. Everything is now baby proofed, and I love it. I love having a baby-proofed house. I don't mind the toys and the games and the guards on everything. It has made our house so much homier than it was before. Maybe I was just meant to be a mom, but I love everything about having an 8 month old tear up the house. I love that our tub now has decals, and froggies, and toys in it. I love that we have gates in between every room, that our sink is constantly seeing it's fair share of dirty bottles and baby spoons, and that we do about 10 loads of laundry per week of just baby clothes. I am so fortunate that Adelyn is already independent, loving to explore every inch of our living room on her own. She started crawling at 7 months and has never looked back! She is SO fast now and she is just about to walk, at 8 months and 8 days. She stood up o9n her own for 15 seconds, not wobbling at all. She had her 8 month checkup today, and the doctor said she will be walking at any moment. She is really trying now, and I am just waiting for her to run across the room.
I love that Joey and I encourage her. We try to let her do her own thing and learn about her surroundings each day. We let her fall and encourage her to get back up and try again, and boy is she courageous. I love that she is just a mix of Joey and I. We were both very independent as children, and we want her to do the same. I figure if she doesn't learn what she can't do, then she won't know her limits. We caution her at times, but letting her learn on her own is the best way. She is so happy all the time and she loves getting into EVERYTHING. She is climbing on all the furniture, and we've had to replace some of our old furniture already. She is not scared of anything, including the dogs. She loves to pull Munson and Tellie's ears and jump on them. We have to be a bit more careful now as she is faster and heavier, but they are just so good with her.
I've tried to get everything down that I could think of for my first post! For every post, I want to write a little something to Adelyn that she will hopefully be able to read when she gets older.
Dear Adelyn,
This is my first post on your blog. Maybe by the time you can go on the computer, blogs won't be "the thing" anymore, but I truly hope you read this. You are such a blessing to me and Daddy and your personality is just shining through each and every day. You make Mommy and Daddy so happy, and I love that you are turning into such a little lady. I can't wait until you start walking, so you can get into everything and drive Daddy crazy! We LOVE you!
Love,
Mommy
Here are some pictures of you during your first few months:
